Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I've had it with this shit!

Folks, let me tell you, I take pride in what I do. And that goes for everything! If I'm taking a dump, a fap or the most degrading job ever, I always do the best I can, because that's how I was brought up. I'ts either the best, or nothing at all.
So when customers come at me, complaining and whatnot, I always bend backwards and let them rant on, before I help them out. I give them new items without receipts, I give them cash back, and I pick the lower of two prices (if thats an option). Not because I love the company, or want to please my boss. I don't care too much about that. No, I do this, because when customers are happy, they talk amongst themselves about how wonderful I am. And that is cash for me! I want to be liked, and when a customer goes out of the way to tell my boss how fantastic she thinks I am, I AM FUCKING AWESOME! And that actually happened.. strange woman though :D

But then there are these customers you could pamper all day long, and nothing would ever be enough. I hate them, intensely. Regardless, I always takes the high-road and try to get things right, before I quit caring.
"EXCUSE ME!?! The price on the shelf says different, you twat! ARE YOU TRYING TO SCAM ME?? I find this whole company both distasteful and deceitful!"
Oh, great.. One of those again - hooray!
"I'm truly sorry, sir, but as I told you when I was helping you out the price-tag with the arrow pointing at ONE SPECIFIC item, only applies to THAT specific item. Nothing I can do about it, and again I'm sorry!".

"HRMF!! you know what, smart-ass?! I will NEVER AGAIN SET MY FOOT IN THIS DUMP! Goodbye!"
(victory! no more of this retard - wuhu!)
-Oh, OK. That is totally your call. Have a nice day!
-nice day my ass, you and your lying piece of *mumble-mumble*

Those are the kinds of customers I'm talking about. They get all fired up for nothing, turns out that they are actually in the wrong, and still rips me a new one only to storm off like only a drama queen could. At that point I'm usually happy, because the other customers are on my side. They shake their head and agrees with me on everything. Makes us strangely closer, and I'm still AWESOME! :D

Next day I come in to work, and who is that standing over there? Thats right, the customer that only yesterday told me he would "NEVER AGAIN SET MY FOOT IN THIS DUMP!". He is looking down on his feet, purposely avoiding eye-contact. My only guess is that during the night the store got lifted from dump-status, but I don't really care. All I know is that

Monday, November 29, 2010

An imprisoning story

OK, so here I am again.. Today I have a rather sad story, even though there were smiles all around.
I was helping a customer while two trailertrash-looking women was waiting for their turn. A lot of people were gathered there at that time. And a sane person might not have shared his/her secrets right there and then, but the two women were not sane people.

"So I'm gonna go, like, visit my boyfriend in PRISON again" the less repulsive one said to the other one. I don't know where she had learned to talk, but I'm guessing in a fucking helicopter! EVERYONE could hear them talk, and, sadly, no one cared. Except for the two, of course.
"Yeah, I liked visiting my bf while he was LOCKED UP", we heard the trailer-trash replied. 
-I'm gonna have to, go visit him for like a long time now
-Yeah, I know all about it. Just gotta go with the flow, and keep'em happy. (go with the flow? what?)
They were both 2 years pregnant, and I'm guessing their parents were siblings or something..

Trash and its kid. Yeehaw!

If you feel you need to earn other peoples respect, yelling about your imprisoned retarded boyfriend is NOT the way to go! But it made me laugh, so there's something.. And the other customers laughed as well. Not in front of them I can assure you! We were dealing with gangsta'-wifes here, and we all suppressed our laughter as tightly as we held on to our will to live. Yeah, thats rich.. we all laughed pitifully, and went on with our day.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Any given Sunday

I woke up at 1 p.m. today, in good time for Newbcastle - Chelsea, which was quite boring..

And also, no work today! But I promised a story, so here we go:

A while back there was this woman customer who I'm guessing did a lot of stuff. And I'm talking heroin here.. She really looked like a cheap skank, though I'm sure she used to look rather pretty. Sleeping in the gutters doesn't help with the appearance i guess, and stealing stuff to sell for score, or scoring for blow, or blowing for H is not the smartest hygienically choice.

Well, she came in one day to buy her dog a large bag of food. Which is good, she takes care of her family. Problem is she couldn't afford half of it. And thats because she "just bought a new car *wink-wink*".
I politely said congratulations, while trying to figure out the *wink-wink*-part. I didn't know what the heck was going down. That was until she unbuttoned the next button, bent down and revealed a rather impressive cleavage. Repeated the *wink-wink* and added a "you should come out and... check it out!"
At that point I was kind of scared, because her pimp might be outside waiting to finish me off.
Thankfully a colleague walked up to us, asking for my help. I told her another time, took the bag of dog food and ran away!

Haven't seen the woman since, and that was nearly 4 years ago.. My bet is on the pimp! Someone should talk to that guy, if he exists.

Thats it, rather lame story come to think about it, but its time for Hotspewrs - Loserpool now. See you tomorrow for a new story!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Train of thought

In my case, I think I have to step it down to a bicycle of thought. I just (yeah JUST) remembered that tomorrow is Saturday, and that means NO WORK! :D

I have to dig deep down in my memory to fish out a good story regardless..

Well, back to New Vegas I go! My karma is too good :O

A hard day off

So, since I got today off, I decided to post here anyways. I know, I'm awesome!
ManU is currently up 6-0 against Blackburn, which is great. I've placed some bets, but forgot to *SHIT*
7-0 now! Berbatov is amazing today!
Berbatov, after scoring yet another against Blackburn.

 Anyways, I forgot one of my coupons, and now, since the other teams don't follow through, I have to place a couple more for tonight. Betting on French football (thats right, FOOTBALL - soccer is a made-up word, and I don't like it), is not my strong side. I'm really hoping though, but then again, if I win enough I might quit my job, and this blog would run empty really quick..

I can throw in a job related incident, just to make myself feel good about this.
A lot of our customers are retarded. They just aren't diagnosed by professionals yet.
There's this one lady we just call moon-man. And I see I could explain something here already.. Moon-man is roughly translated from my native tongue, and derives from a song. The songs meaning of the word is, however, not important - not even relevant. But the lady looks so misplaced, as if she just fell down from the moon, and thus.. well, you get my drift.
Her fingernails is really bad, and always dirty. For a man that would be OK, but ladies; clean fingers are eminent!

I'm digressing from my story here.. The lady has a daughter, who is about 8 y/o, and the daughter is the more responsible one of the two. Aren't there any rules regarding these things? I feel like calling child protective services, but I don't want to interfere if things are working great. I mean, though the lady seems.. high, she comes across as a nice, loving mother, which really is the most important thing. And if she takes her daughter with her, together they actually makes one fully functioning adult.

Seems things are OK after all.. I'm going back to the game!

Friday, November 26, 2010


OK, so here's the sitch: its freezing outside! -6°F last i checked! -6!!!
But my car's hanging in there, starting nicely as always. The problem is when I start driving, and my exhale freezes to the inside of the windshield. On my way to work today, I nearly crashed, due to a low sun, and NO visibility.. Thank dog for bus-lanes.

Whilst on work, however, I was able to hook up my engine heater. Though my boss warned me the electrics were severely out of date, and might catch on fire. "Well that would be nice, a warm place is always welcome", I said and turned it on. No fire, but my car was slightly warmer than usual starting up after my shift. Of course I can't see out the back window, but who needs that, right?!

Got tomorrow off, so I think I might catch up on our new MasterCard. Its out, but I have yet to get any info on it. *cough* nice management *cough* :D

The saga begins

A long long time ago, I can barely remember, I started working.
Got the job by asking the manager if there was an opening, she said "...?".
Next day I asked her the same, her reply: ".. come back in a few days".
I waited a few days, and came back asking her "so.. when do I start?".
She smirked with an expression of 'OK you win' and told me to start working the following Monday.

That was it! And people say its so hard getting a job? Well you could at least make an effort..

Anyways, in this blog I will write about funny and annoying stuff from my workplace. Have fun reading, or be annoyed, I don't really care.